commitment

This is an anxiety-provoking word for many of us. As I write this now, I can feel symptoms of stress surfacing: rapidly beating heart, quickness of breath, clenched jaw, a desire to play a quick game of solitaire and go to bed.

This is my first blog post ever and it certainly invokes fear... fear of the commitment I am making to unknown outcomes...

• what will readers think of what I write? of me?
• what if I want to change how I appear here?
  
• what if something I say isn't profound?
• what if I can't keep up with this?

It is nerve-wracking to put myself out there in a way that I haven't before. Admittedly, I have been avoiding this for over a year. Saying that I needed to do more research, take more time for self-reflection and growth, find the right format.

Then the other night, I took the plunge. I picked a name for my blog. Momentum and excitement built as I tweaked the design and theme. I effortlessly created the mantra that would be my "about".

Then I lost it when I had to write the first post.

The first post is a commitment. A commitment to my virtual image, the messages I choose to send and the start of a (hopefully) meaningful archive. As I write this though, I am appalled at how most of this sounds like my concern for a business plan. I want my commitment to be to more than an opportunity to grow a vision for professional development. I want my commitment to be a genuine opportunity for growth and positive change.

And so, I have chosen to make my first post about my commitment to the vision of this blog. I am making a commitment to experience an aware life, to help others explore an aware life, to connect more closely with myself and others and to learn and grow in the process.

This commitment will be a journey and I am excited to take it with you. Namaste.